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Elvis lives, Princess Dies

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   an incredibly tasteless bit of humor
   from the twisted mind that brought you
"David Hasselhoff is the Antichrist." and "The World's Most Politically Incorrect Beach Towel"
and the facebook quiz "What STD is right for your complexion?"

Given that Princess Diana's untimely death coincided with the 20th anniversary of Elvis' own demise, many people are convinced that there is a correlation.  After a thorough examination of the evidence, it is unlikely that this is mere coincidence.   Something big is at work here.   Something even bigger than Elvis.

Note Although many people will find this funny, many more will be totally offended by it.  To find out which one you are, imagine a joke with the punch line "hunka hunka burnin' flesh."  If that offends you, stop reading now. 

If you're smiling, read on, and feel free to send copies of this address to your friends and enemies.

Diana and Dodi's car crash was blamed in part on the fast-driving French chauffer, Henri Paul -- who should probably have stopped before he spun out.

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Elvis sang "Stop, Look and Listen" in the 1966 film "Spinout," co-starring Diana McBaine -- in which he played a race car driver.

Elvis also sang "You Gotta Stop" in the movie "Easy Come, Easy Go" co-starring Dodie Marshall -- in which he played a Navy frogman.

The letters in Elvis' first name can be re-arranged to spell

Di's first name doesn't even need re-arranging to spell

But, as long as we're making anagrams

Dodi Al Fayed      -- "Dead lay of Di"

Diana Spencer       -- "Speed'n in a car"

Elvis Aron Presley -- "Perverse loin lays"(that's pretty weak, I know, but it's the best I could come up with. Sorry.)

The Royal Family is notoriously inbred and is said to have "blue blood,"

Elvis starred in "Kissing Cousins" and sang that he had "blue suede shoes."

Di died in the car, making out with Dodi.

Elvis died on the can, making a doodie.

Elton John's funeral dirge/tribute to Diana, "Candle in the Wind," was a tremendous worldwide commercial success. 

The album Elvis in Concert, released a month after his death, was also a tremendous worldwide commercial success.

Diana's face Diana was the Princess of Wales. smelvisface2.jpg (5510 bytes) Elvis was the King of Rock and Roll, and roughly the size of a whale.

Princess Diana died in a car crash in Paris in September of 1997.

Princess Grace, an actress who starred in High Noon and High Society, died in a car crash in Monaco in September of 1982.

Monaco is home of the Monte Carlo Casino, a tastefully decorated mecca for high-rolling blue-blooded aristocrats.

Elvis was an actor who often got high in Graceland, and who performed routinely at the Las Vegas International Hotel, a tastelessly decorated mecca for low-lifes and bluehaired gamblers.
Diana married Charles, a pale-skinned, sexually perverted, weirdo with bizarre ears.

Diana had two boys, both of whom are considered to be good-looking, but are rumored to have problems. 

Elvis' daughter Lisa Marie married Michael, a pale-skinned, sexually perverted, weirdo with a bizarre nose.

According to rumors, Michael "had" two boys as well, both of whom he considered to be good-looking, but who now have problems.

Diana waves exactly like Elvis does

Elvis waves exactly like Diana does

Elvis, Nixon, and Me.  Really.

HTML by Warren

Esquilax Productions

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